This week marks the beginning of a new chapter in our family lives. Rob is done and away from Sunstate, the boys have both finished school, I retired from school and officially begin as QAVA, my singing concert was last night (more about that later) and we're all on to the next big thing.........or so I thought.
Yesterday morning saw the end of Quiet, Placid, Easy Going, Lovely, Gentle Robbie. We all understand the female hormone disasters that can dominate a family's lives, but little is said of boy hormones, or what I like to call Boymoans. I can honestly say, Robbie rarely cries or gets upset, that's just his personality, but yesterday, a new day dawned. It all started with a visit across the hall to his brothers room and after a brief tustle with Rocci along the lines of "Go and make your own advent calendar! I'm sick of sharing", Robbie dissolved into a big ball of tears and snot. I left him in his room, unable to make him see reason, but as the sobbing continued I thought that he probably just needed breakfast and a glass of water, so I calmly escorted him out. After eating though, he returned to his room and resumed the sobbing. I walk in and sit on his bed, and point out that perhaps there is something more to it than an advent calendar problem. He agrees but doesn't want to talk. I leave him with my personaly belief that you can't stop your child feeling certain emotions, even if I don't know what the problem is, it's okay to feel. An hour later, some rescue remedy, a cup of milo, a massage and aromatherapy oils burning in the distance I come to realise that maybe he doesn't quite understand it either. Poor Robbie, I hand him a blank diary and a pen and suggest he write to himself, to me, to God, to a friend, anyone just so he can get his thoughts into order.
Rob was out printing programs for my concert and when I called him for reinforcement he had to check that I wasn't confused about which child was having a melt down. Rocci is a regular at melt down moments - I don't need help for these. It was definitely Robbie.....The big one!
It was ten o'clock when he surfaced and presented me with a list of emotional ailments (no advent calendar issues any where in sight). We all sat down and read it, evaluated, discussed his boymoans and their effect on a growning boy, and how we could best address each problem listed. He was happy to find solutions and agreed to work on resilience - which is moot in the face of boymoans anyway.
There is no picture attachment to this story, if there was, it would just be a picture of me in shock at the dramatic change in my little boy. Three cheers for turning into a man! Albeit a sobbing mess, there wass a change! Then this happened........
Last night during my students concert, Robbie was in charge of mic adjustment for each performer, which meant being on stage infront of 300 people every 3 minutes or so. It was a big stage and I wasn't sure he would be up to it, not on this particular day......but if I didn't see his behaviour with my own eyes, I would never have believed it......... he performed!!!!!!!!!! Not singing, not dancing, but comedic, funny, silly 'sound-guy' performing. Each time he came on stage to change a microphone, he did something silly, subtle, funny and entertaining. One time he tumbled onto the stage, another time he dived onto the stage after running from the back, he wore odd clothing stolen from actual performers, and managed to - without one word - have the audience cheering him and calling out for him between songs. He did his job quickly and was so helpful, but unexpectedly - after such an emotional morning - he managed to shock his unshockable mother, with a performance. I was so proud of him last night, not only for the evening show, but for the morning show too. He really is changing.
This morning...............after learning that you get more attention if your tantrum goes for hours, Rocci took up the mantle and showed his best performance to date. Fun, fun, fun. It was weird having a family meeting that involved pen and paper and drawings of emotions and action plans with solutions to problems. Who knew we could be that civilised. Boymoans have arrived just in time for Rob to be in charge of all parenting issues. I will be able to say - I knew them when............!
I took Rocci out shopping today to buy gifts from him to friends and family. It started with getting car sick on the way, then spending a very long 22 minutes in the stinky toilets while he attended to his business. After this he was feeling much better, but, he fell over his own foot and decided that walking was no longer on the cards. I carried the big lump until he made orders to take him back to the toilet.....ugh....stinky public toilets! Thinking a visit with Santa would be special, and after waiting in line (for what seemed like days) I was shocked to find he was too scared (at six??) to talk to him, so we left without talking to him and went back into Myer. With all the drama, I was beginning to remember why God gave children two parents and not one. As we neared the BORING section (haberdashery and crockery) Rocci found a book for sale - good old 'Cat in the Hat'. We already have 15 of these at home, but he's never looked at them. But, today, as a new little reading man, he jumped up onto the bed and began to read it (very loudly) to all who passed by. I was able to browse the boring section from cutlery to pillow slips, I may not have been able to see him, but I sure could hear him. People gathered around at one point and when I returned to where he was sitting he was lying down on the pillows reading still, just like he was heading off to nigh nighs. Too cute. We left shortly after and stacked our shopping in the boot of the car (which was about a kilometre away) when he decided he really would like to talk to Santa..........Did I trudge back?????? Yes, I did. We are now the proud owners of a very light, well read, bruised knee, gifted up, Santa loving, little boy. Anybody want to break the news about Santa not bringing everything you ask for?
